oh god the rape fog is back!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
