So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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