I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
