i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize