You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We just shotgunned beers for America
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
