could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
