I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
