I wish I could teleport
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize