My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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