I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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