we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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