what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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