I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
