Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
