considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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