I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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