Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
