i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
