Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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