I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize