I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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