shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
