You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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