I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
