You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
