Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
