I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
