Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
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I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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