is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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