Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have fence marks all over my body
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
