I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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