I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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