I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
