You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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