I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
