called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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