She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
