so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
