I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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