Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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