Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
