I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
