Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
MIDGETS
????
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
