i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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