There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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