Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
