Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
