There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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