He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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