smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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