I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize