Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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