she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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