theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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