You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
