dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
