Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
