hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
high people should be assigned attendants
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
