I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
