I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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