They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
