I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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