If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
